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ゞ梦游ǒ继嗣.`神殿゛゛・゚▼*Sleepwalking‘ ゚ゞ Heir's .:。゚‘゚^ Heavenly*▽*. Sanctuary. ✿:。..^. 2009/6/15 Jazzy WanderNow...listening to the jazz music, and writing something that I feel from it. I like the nights like this, just feeling the music or something that can take me to the other world that filled with wonders. Maybe some will feel this to be too indulged and centric. However, I like it for that gives me tons of rooms for my mind’s wandering. How’s recently? It has been flying. For I am flying through different cities, and also the time is flying very rapidly. And at a blink of eyes, it is already summer time, and June it is. Time goes by too soon that the past months just can be shorten in several pictures. Some rainy streets, some gathering laughter, some struggle, and some enjoyable loosen-up. Nothing really big happened, only some of my friends’ leaving, bothered me a little bit. I kind of angry about this, however, it is nature, it is life. I can not force any one to make any decision if it is for me. That is also why the thinking topic involved lots of person connection and networks. I would like to say I learn some lessons from the others, with different despicable betrays or conspiring gang-ons. Deeply felt the unpleasant, I redefined lots of things, and this leads to more understandings actually. I am glad I am not the one in the story. Philosophical thoughts sometimes make people more easily to accept daily life craps. When something bad happens, you can always be cherishing that something worse is not happening. Positive thinking and negative thinking will lead to different results, which is why there are survivors and victims. Wounded can be seen as victims and crying for help or this or that. Or he or she can be the role model of a survivor that live strong, inspire and educate the others. Going to be bored for the comings, for most of the TV series are ended lately. Surely some of the shows give me good sources of thinking. I like DH and Lie to Me. Each of episode actually gives me a really good topic, or theme. Okie. Maybe that is it, for now. Now, the wander is over. 2009/2/21 That's My So-called LifeBack from Ping Pong...
Things are going to right...
When I get it bad, you get it even worse now...
Let's put our heads together, and
reverse....
That is my so-called life...
Don't know why, just wanna post something like this when I back from the funking sense....
Maybe the so-called life inpected on me, about what about me...what about me living in nowhere...what about me no drink left off my leaves...
Whatever.
Reverse it is always something exciting ahead...
My so-called life, I don't have a definition for it...like it or not..
Me, rather to be no place to be...
Just my wonderland..
Dizzy...
Written in unconcious... 2009/2/7 Where No My Sight of His View2009...Here it is...
Live's back to regular...Back to everything that always goes..
Not something 'Missing' song this time, but a quo from one of my mentor:
You will never get to see what the view is in my eye. Cuz the beauty is always in front of me, and behind your back.
Like to think about this over and over....I found out sometimes, we are some involved with the world of our own, we lose the idea of that what it will be like through the others' eye. And we might never get the chance.
Time can pass by so quickly....Days, all gone by a flint...
Looking at some of the pictures I took in the last few trips..It is like a repeating pictures recording another guy doing his life...
And I don't reganized him, cuz the back shape are not likely me..Am I not the one I used to be? Or I am not the one when I decide to leave...
Emotion...
Some feeling comming from the dept of the chest. expressing the peace, love or hatre, and some funky heads..
Just wonder...what if...some one can live two life....One is the rehearsal...
While...It doesn't....
So be it...No take two.... 2008/12/16 Not Need to Be ComplicatedChatted with one good friend tonight, I found that so many thing had changed already. We are not longer the young kids in playground or football field. We become the mature individuals in the mixed world, just in different ways that we breath out our air.
Humans are complicated features. We are created the way differently and completed via factors that chosen for us. That is why every one has his own meaning, style towards things, or should I say it is the unique interpretation of oneself. As we know that no one is with the same situation, therefore anything comes out from reasons. But it is just hard for every one to think in the other’s shoes and feel it.
Respect is definitely one thing important in relationships, no matter it is between friends, colleagues or lovers. I like the fact that I don’t encounter too much fake people in my world. Or should I say that I might be choosing to deal with those people that always show respect to the others. I don’t approve any ways of putting people down or making anyone’s a living hell. Maybe I am too soft, or I am too ideal for world in my dream. But I would hate to talk to others rude asses. It is time-wasting for me even to explain to the bad asses why they are annoying.
Hate to see that some of the people become to caring for the others, and end up tided up the guilt. Sometimes just stuck in the corner and can not jump out of the box, and lost in their own pain. Like sometime I do.
Well at least I haven’t feel conflicted for a while. Because I do have times that I am lost and confused, not knowing how to handle things the best and getting frustrated.
Now the music playing is the “Happy Ending”, thinking about everything that I wanted, and everything that the others might want, I am shocked by the wordings. Something people are always pretending. Some hope that people are always holding. Some meant-to-be can fade away. And some memory will twist and disappear, no longer there.
The supposed-to-be are no longer getting taken seriously. And something wanted are missed, left with regret and pieces of lies. 2008/8/4 Wanna Be McSomethingI don't know when does it started...maybe from the TV Grey's Anatomy,McSomething becomes a very regular word in my life...and maybe before that, I have been following Chen or my own in the way of Fantesy.
Always, always...
I always enjoy being surrounded by the fancy atmosphere...which makes me delusive about reality....I admit that I am a person that would rather live in the so-called fantesy or delusion infact. Imaging myself in some sorts of ways relaxes me or bring me extra something...like the eye for art or the understanding for difference...However, sometimes the rational side of me, conflicted with the fancized me and drives me into confusion....
McWorking, McCooking, McThinking,McEverything...
what ever makes me have a better feeling...
It is not a good night....So confusingly writting about the pieces above, I have absolutely no clue that why I write about McSomething...Maybe because this is the latest on my MSN..or I have been bored too badly that I can not think about anything better to write?
It could be...
Well...Just wanna start writting again...it doesnt matter what I write...isn't it? 2008/3/8 The Coffee Makes MeYesterday I slept for almost three quarters of the day, and I went to the Mc’ Donald’s at about 5 o’clock. The desk lady gave me a big cup of coffee, and I finished it then went shopping. I would never think that it was that cup of coffee made me awake all night long. I watched all the updated TV series, the new released articles of the blogs I used to visit, and took a shower and stayed on the bed for hours. I just could not go to sleep.
And now it is about 6 o’clock. The brand new will start while I am still very awake. So I decide to may be write something here, some place that I have left untouched almost for half a year.
I used to write a lot here. Because I like to, and I have the time to share something or even nothing with the others. But as I get more and more tided up with different things in daily life, I am not longer writing pieces of news here. So much I can write every day, but I just feel that I don’t have the time. Maybe I am too tired, or I am too lazy to get started. Writing English blogs actually is a homework assigned by Amy Hwang when I was a freshmen in college. But later I fall in love with the writing in English. Not saying it is weird, I am trained more easily to formulate words in English than Chinese. I think I get activated as my learning of English and foreign culture. The more I anticipate with the foreigners or the foreign stuffs, I become more like somebody that is not originally born here. I speak Chaoshan as a mother tongue, which is not Mandarin. And I become a Cantonese-like person when I come to Guangzhou for college education. I learn Cantonese almost in a month, which is so unbelievable and fools a lot of friends thinking I am a local Cantonese. With my mother side of family, I also be able to speak Hakka, a minority dialect used by Hakka people. As the college education makes me more and more mature in English thinking and formulating, I realize that in some other aspects such as perspective towards life, people and also a lot things have tremendously changed. For better for worse, I am really happy about what I become.
The changes on me in this four years are huge. Self-esteem and self-confidence, humor, attitude, power and authority, all of these make me a better person. I am so glad that I take chances and challenges, which push me though difference obstacles and barriers. Without those trainings, I could never be as strong as I am now. Thought being confident and satisfied as I am now, still I have to remain learning different things in the real world. Never will I stop learning. Being a learning in life, humbleness is something I think really important. No matter how brilliant you are at the first point, you never get advanced if you can not seek the real inside humbly. So humbleness will be one thing that is going to be with me in my whole life. Another thing really precious is the view of value. I have adjusted many times about how I feel one single thing is worthy or not. You can not be too caring about lost and gain. The hesitation will cost you a lot if you are too afraid to lose. The winner is the one who have confidence and faith. If you fail to convince yourself, how could you possibly convince anybody else. When you are too up to something, and too afraid to lose that, the nerves will get to you and expose the weakness of you. So when I have to face something tough and difficult, I have to valuate it as it is the most important thing to do. And I have prepared that even if I lose, at least I get the experience. But if you quit, you have nothing. So I am never a quitter.
In the past few days, I moved to a new apartment, and started a new life without my friends who always be there with me. I have to become more independent through I am very dependable since the very beginning. I don’t know what is coming ahead for me, whether it is going to be a storm, or a beautiful sun-shining day. But I am sure no matter what is like tomorrow, I will be rocking it and enjoy every second of it. Because that is what I am alive for, living and enjoying. 2007/9/6 Happiness The ThinkingHaven’t practiced speaking English for a long time, when the new term starts, actually I thought I might have some trouble in forming words. Lucky for me, I think when we are having the English course, I can still follow what the teacher said and am still able to deliver English as the thoughts come to my mind. I am a little bit surprised by the response. However, thinking it for a few second, I understand that during the internship I am still gain a lot of knowledge in English, especially refreshing my knowledge in marketing. I think the ways of expression also versified from the daily work. Being in a international firm, although we are not talking in English all the time, however, I absorb the knowledge that they pass me, I learn the new computer techniques from their operation, what is more important, I gain the friendship and partnership with all the staff in Weber. Maybe the course itself is what that really matters.
Today we are talking about the article Happiness, which is really familiar with all of us. However, can any body give a definition that what is happiness? Every one I have asked gives a different answer. Satisfaction, cherishment, freedom, love, health, wealth, power, comfort. All this different words formulate the mixture of the word Happiness. And I, myself give the answer enjoyment.
I don’t know why this word comes to me. Previously I always looks for the differences in the world to fulfill my curiosity.
To be continued… 2007/8/2 We Are AdvocatorsThat is what Mr Darren said.
Advocacy starts here, this is a sentence that confuses me for a while.I dont know what does it mean, even the senior workers. Until Mr Darren gives us a impressive training talk.
To be continued.. 2007/7/16 Wow Wow WorldDIRT is a really good TV show.I watched the whole season in a day,which shows my craziness for TV again. But a play that can attract me indicates that it is really good. And surely it is.
The theme is about the entertainment circle in Hollywood and all the complicated influence caused by a magazine DIRT NOW.What cause my attention in the plays are the complex interpublic relationship and the briliant thoughts of Lucy and Don. Lucy, the editor of the magazine believed in seeking for the truth."Dont you know the truth will set you free?"She lost herself by the suicide of her father when she was 15 years old. She believed in truth however appear cold to any one who are close to her. And Don, the photographer was amazing. The ways he adopted to take a good photo shots,the internal comflicts about his illness,and his sacrifice about the opportunities and his best friends Lucy. There are no chemistry in this two characters, however, for the people who are so different from the others, their friendship is the most beautiful things in the world.
BTw,now I have been working in Weber for almost 10 days now..how time flys~!I can not even tell how I like about being in this company.But definitely I enjoy it very much.
Here most of the things I encounter are new for me, although I thought I was pretty comprehensive. However, as soon as I step into this PR industry,I find that you have to know everything about everything. That means something about everything and everything about something. Just combine the words the professor teach me. Always I am frustrated by the obsticles that stop me from doing well, because I am not familiar with almost all of the companies' background. Chances are pretty good to meet the big companies. Like my first video recording with the DTC, diamond trading company,and the press comference with the Symantec.I know I can just get a little from there. Just get a glint in their eyes about what I am in the event. However, I am sure with more opportunities to work with them,I will be able to do something that can wow them. Advocate starts here. That is what Weber Shandwick talks about, that is what PR is about.
One thing helps is that I can learn from the others quickly, which means I can get a lot of improvement in this intern job. What I need most is time,surely every one else needs too.
Time appears pretty important to us, no matter at work or after work. I have to deal with the transportation things and also the sleeping schedule. Maybe I am always overexcited, I can not get enough during weekdays,which results in the sleeping weekends.5+2,this is what now I call my life. The five days at work and two days for rest.
Writing in English can be really fun.I guess I just somehow forget that I am more comfortable using it.But I will try to get my hobby in English writing back.. 2007/5/22 Need Some PeaceTalk about this, I havent done my english writing for a while...Maybe just so many things going on and I am getting tired and tired....It takes time to recover,but seems that this recovery has been such a long time....
The part-time experience in Alibaba was so amazing, so were the trips to Macau and Hongkong...When I got back to school, suddenly I feel everything so unfamiliar....Maybe I have been out of class for too long...I start to forget about what time I should get up, where should I go in my daily routine...and even....I kind of lost my school life and enjoy being working out....
This is not right and this is not good at all...And I am trying to get the balance between work and study...It is noisy out there, hasty and rushy...and what I need is peace in my heart....I need to get some peace and get myself back to school...to everything that used to keep me going....
It is hard to find the drive that can get you going....I might be confused...I might be not....I might be just tired...or I might be just avoiding some fact that life sucks these days.... 2007/5/10 Slow DownI think I have been running too fast recently...The different experiences are so overwhelming... 2007/4/4 Winter Is BackLast week, I was wearing a T-shirt and sweating all the way through. And the next day I had to put on my long clothes and sweater. The weather suddenly dropped about 10 degree. In a day, the summer day had gone back to winter, back to the coldness and darkness. The sky this Monday was covered by the darkish clouds. The color of the sky was so freaky. It was first reddish and then turned into brownish. And then suddenly, at 8 A.M. when we were have the class of U.S. Culture, outside the classroom it looked like it was in the evening.
With the company of rain, the coldness spread through the whole campus effortlessly. It was like that the weather when I was in Northeast. Maybe it was colder. It is said that the coldness in south China is colder than that in the North. Because the humidity caused by the rain will contribute a lot to the cold, and transfer into the freezing coldness.
I guessed that Spring was sent back to sleep, because Winter was still not willing to get a rest. And he wins, sending Spring and also Summer back. But the one looking for sunshine will be disappointed. That is me. Winter comes, will spring be far? Maria Shelly said. But I doubt it now. 2007/4/1 Beauty of Life![]() Talking with the fellow friends, I gradually find out that I am different from the others. I used to want to be different, thinking about that uniqueness is something that makes me special. However, when I sit there with them, with a candle in my hand, I start to see that we are in different worlds.
When I was young, the painting I learn later developed into my artist vision and taste. I start to view the world differently, with all the extraordinary angles, and come out with an innovative point of view. That is something makes me pound of myself for a long time. And now, I start to doubt myself, can I be special and not to be alienated? Because I was born to be with the crowds, which makes me feel bad when I am alienated. The history tells us, the great man live in solitude. And I want to be the great man. However, I am so scared to live in solitude.
In the long process of live, man can pursue so many things. But I think what starts to distinct me and the others is my vision of world. I am definitely going to pursue the beauty of life as I keep going. Like Meradise said, she is not even close to ordinary. So am I . 2007/3/21 I Might Be Only One Who Are Crazy Like ThisI think so at least....
I would to take a picture of my to-do list and update it to show you...
So crazy.... 2007/3/20 Break ItI think I am trying to challenge my ability..
Taking responsiblity for one thing after another,I think somehow I have almost reached my limite. However I am looking for a way to break throught.When I find it, I will be stronger. 2007/3/16 I Am On Your Side![]() A friend in need is a friend indeed. That is the significance of me being viewed as a friend. I like the feeling of giving, helping and supporting, and also I have the needs of receiving, comforted and depend on.
Maybe I can not be the one who share your every sadness and sorrow. But I hope that my company can be something that supports you to face all the difficulties. Long time ago, maybe I had experienced what you are likely to get. Taking all this by one's own is pretty hard. So I hope something positive from me can help you. Life is precious all the way through. And we will never know when we will be taken by the hand of God. And when we come to something about ending and beginning, we should let something go and open a new page for the future. That is what I did, though it takes me several years to overcome.
Tomorrow will be another day. No big deal~!
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